Finally finalized and sent everything today, so I can finally relax. *sigh* you'd think I'd be all excited cuz I'm going to university but I'm not. In fact, it's quite the opposite. It just hit me that I have never, in all my years of schooling, ever taken my schoolwork seriously. It's horrible!! Taking a little bit of notes in class, go home, fool around, eat dinner, sleep.. and then pull all nighters the night before my test and somehow miraculously end up with marks in the low to mid 80's. Somewhere along the line though, that method stopped working and then before you know it, it's application time and all you're marks are messed up @____@.

Is it just me or does everything seem so.. finalized? It's almost feels like I'm gonna be stuck with whatever field I chose, for better or worst, for the rest of my life. What really scares me though is that I don't really have a goal in life, so in a sense, it's like I have nothing to work for right now, which makes everything even more messy and complicated than it already is *tears* .

And then on of that, I have this whole family issue thing to worry about. I just feel so lost, and insignificant, and overwhelmed by everything and I honestly don't know how much more I can take of this. All this pressure and constant stress... it's enough to make anyone have a mental breakdown. Will things ever get better?
|| Helena mindlessly rambled @ 10:32 PM || ||