Why is it that so many bad things are happening recently?? I mean, for once in a very long time, I am finally happy with everything going on with school, and then this whole long-winded drama with my family has to happen?? Why does it have to be one or the other?? I mean I don't know how much more I can deal with this. Most nights, I get home so drained and tired that it's a miracle that I even have the energy to eat and shower as oppose to just passing out in my bed the second I get home; and now I have to deal with this?? I mean, yes school is extremely stressful and I'm totally high-strung worrying about the zillion deadlines I have from now till spring break but it's the good kind of stress because for once I actually have really good groups with people who are actually competitive and who actually care about getting not only good marks, but top marks. I really don't have the energy to deal with all this drama going on at home.
What makes him think he has the rights to lecture me on this?? Wasn't he the one who said that helping AI was a waste of time?? He's such a
hypocrite, it's not even funny!! As for M... omg... I can't believe she'd get "angry" over such a thing. I mean, it's not like I said that I was against calling AI; I merely said that I really don't see how a phone call is gonna do any good, considering we can't even convince AI to get it together when we go there in person. I can't help her if she doesn't help herself; in fact, no one can. G may think that she's helping AI by going there with AI's friends, but in doing so, they're just making matters even worst. I mean really, why would anyone choose to eat hospital food if one knows that friends/family may come along with better food?? I really don't see how forcing her to eat is gonna do anything. She's not crazy!! She's perfectly conscious of what's happening. She understands perfectly that the doctor is considering putting her under electroconvulsive therapy. I have no idea what triggered her breakdown after so many years of stability, but her situation really is not as bad as her doctor thinks it is. Her reactions are perfectly normal; her eye movements and everything are totally normal, you can't fake that!! I've seen her when things got really bad, so I'm at least 95% sure that she's faking it now.
I don't want to sound inhumane, but really... at some point you have no choice to admit defeat because we really can't help her if she doesn't want to help herself. Yes, I get that she's depressed and all, but now she's making me depressed. I don't want to end up having another argument because of her.
The worst part is, S doesn't even know her that well, yet that still didn't stop him from preaching us about it. He has no idea how physically, and emotionally draining it is so see someone self-destruct like that; someone who shuts everyone out and refuses to listen to reason. He just doesn't get it; he thinks it's a joke. Everything's just black and white to him, yet he's such a hypocrite on the matter. I don't even know what to say to him anymore. Did he really change so much these past few years, or is it that I never really knew him that well to being with. He's done nothing but disappoint us time after time; betrayed us time after time, and I'm sick of it!! The worst part is, it doesn't even look like he feels any remorse, what-so-ever!!
I've never been so disappointed in someone... well, actually, I guess that's 2 people now...
urgh.. so sick of all this family drama
wasabi_luv@hotmail.com